The Four Fatal Fears

Fascinated as I am by human potential, and how to re-think it, fear has always been a subject of interest to me.

A recent serialisation of Eddie Jones’ book in the Times has prompted me to re-look at this.

Eddie discusses the gurus and mentors that have had a big impact on him and the England team. One of these was Frank Dick. I was fortunate enough to listen to Frank talk at a joint EY/UK Coaching event earlier on this year, and he was mightily impressive. He first shot to fame as Daley Thompson’s coach, and has continued throughout the years to advise and support at the highest level. Eddie brought him in to work with the squad, and one of the areas examined was the four ‘fatal fears’ that exist when you are in a team.

The first is the fear of getting it wrong or making a mistake.

The second is the fear of losing.

The third is the fear of rejection.

And the fourth is the fear of criticism.

Before we unpick these, let’s just take it up a level. It has been argued by many that fear can be a positive motivator and drive extraordinary results. However, there is also a large body of evidence (research-based and anecdotal) which would suggest that fear can also be crippling.

Let’s also touch on a key concept that sits underneath all of this: growth mindset. First coined by American academic Carol Dweck, this term reflects a belief that our talents and abilities can be cultivated and developed through hard work, persistence, and good teaching (amongst other things). The concept has swept across education, sport and increasingly business. At its essence, it makes a distinction between your mindset towards the following:

• effort;

• challenge;

• mistakes; and

• feedback.

Here is not the place for an in-depth discussion of a growth vs fixed mindset, but in summary a growth mindset welcomes all of the above, and ensures that each facet is approached in the right way in order to learn and grow, whilst a fixed mindset avoids the facets.

So, taking the four fears in turn:

A growth mindset does not fear getting it wrong, or making mistakes. This is an inevitable part of the learning process, and what’s key is that you learn from the mistakes, in the best way possible (something that is often much easier to say than actually do in practice.) Think of Albert Einstein’s famous quote: “anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” Or this from Jose Mourhino (now there’s a leap!) on his recent appointment as Spurs Manager: “I will make new mistakes - but not the same.” And Eddie Jones makes the point that when you become really brave you don’t wait for somebody else to see the mistake. You put your hand up straight away.

Moving on to the second fear, fear of losing, if you listen to a lot of sportspeople describing their approach, you hear phrases such as ‘control the controllables’, ‘the score will take care of itself’ and ‘focus on the process not the outcome’. This doesn’t reflect an abdication of responsibility or influence, but is aimed at ensuring your focus is on delivering the best performance you are capable of, rather than just ‘winning’.

What about fear of rejection? Well if you don’t put yourself out there, and don’t challenge yourself, you will lose the opportunity to learn and grow.

Frank’s final fear is fear of criticism. He suggests a simple solution to this: rename criticism feedback. So simple. And yet with such an impact. Just like the addition of the word ‘yet’ onto a sentence starting “I can’t do …..yet.” (a classic technique to encourage a growth mindset). Sports people in general have a much higher respect for feedback, not just welcoming it but actively seeking it. After all, if I want to make sure I make the plane to Tokyo 2020, I want all the feedback on my performance levels I can get. How many of us follow this approach in our own work domain?

How else can we deal with these fears, and the situations that drive them?

At an individual level, language is key. self talk can be incredibly powerful, and using positive rather than negative phrases can make a huge difference. For example, shifting from ‘what if I lose’ to ‘what is the best way to make sure I win’, or even ‘Can I win?’ Or in business, shifting from ‘what if we run out of resources’ to ‘what is the best way to use our resources?’ Keeping perspective is also important - situations are rarely as pivotal as we imagine they are, and the same goes for our own individual influence on them.

At a group level, culture is key. Ensuring a culture where failure, in pursuit of improvement, is not just accepted but actually valued. Provided good lessons are learnt. I read recently about one business that actively showcases its failures throughout the year - it’s not failure for failure’s sake, but failure in pursuit of something better.

Leaders have a huge responsibility for setting the tone for this. Leaders who actively encourage debate and challenge, who accept they don’t have all the answers, own up when they make mistakes, challenge themselves out of their comfort zone, and actively seek feedback, will have a significant influence on driving this approach throughout those they lead. Then it’s important to make sure that you have the correct systems and processes (including reward and recognition systems) that actively facilitate this.

I will end with eight simple words (attributed to lots of people, but most often to Nelson Mandela): “I never lose. I either win or I learn.”